3 easy ways for female breadwinners to embrace choice
“Some days, especially after a holiday, I just wish I could be a stay at home parent”
“If only there were more options open to me”
Sometimes you don’t exactly choose to become the breadwinner in your family. Illness, retirement, redundancy or just having more drive than your other half can put you in a financially responsible position before you know it. But however you arrived at or were catapulted into the role of main earner, you always have a choice in how you view the situation; as a problem or something you can make work.
In the interviews I conducted for my book Rocking Your Role I was drawn to the diverse stories of how female breadwinners from all walks of life had come to terms with being the main earner. After all unlike traditional roles there is no road map to tell us or our other halves how to navigate this role reversal. It was fascinating to hear how some were able to make their little corner of the world work.
Here are a few pointers I picked up from them:
1. Own the path you have taken
However you came to be breadwinner make sure you restore control and own the path you have taken. Once you let go of the uncertainty, fear, anger, resentment, shame or embarrassment that is holding you back, your light will shine. Take back control of your emotions, look to the future and learn to feel comfortable with your role in spite of external expectations of you and your family.
2. Indulge in what’s good about being the main earner
Along with the pressures and the strain, being the financial number-one will undoubtedly have its associated perks, after all you don’t need permission to buy shoes! Being able to support your family is something to be proud of and treating yourself is part of what you deserve. One woman I spoke to called Connie was overjoyed when she was able to buy a brand new car- and why shouldn’t she be?
If you have become bogged down in your own negativity try holding the opposite view to your usual one. Changing how you see the world will change how you are in the world. Thinking positively about your position will help you to communicate more positively about it. A change of perspective can really make things come into focus and reveal the choice that are open to you.
I firmly believe that you can choose your attitude no matter what the situation. You always have a choice when it comes to dealing with what life throws at you – you can hide and pretend it’s not happening or face whatever comes boldly. Which will it be for you?
I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. See my upcoming events & training, if motivation, inspiration and support are what you are seeking.