rockingyourrole

For women who Rock their Role in work and life

Archive for the tag “author”

‘Don’t women just want to marry a rich man’?

Jenny Garrett_launch of Skirts & Ladders

Photos at the launch of Skirts & Ladders

I had the pleasure of being asked to speak at the launch of Lily Dey’s women’s network Skirts & Ladders. Lily defines her network as a dynamic environment designed to release the potential of early career women and accelerate their journeys as future leaders. Her first event was a book club with a twist.

The women were encouraged to read the selected book in advance, namely Rocking Your Role. I delivered a short talk, about why I wrote the book and my passion for supporting women who are the main earner. This was then followed by discussions around a series of themes that the book highlighted, which were facilitated by an experienced group coach.

The venue was excellent, and so were the bubbles, but most importantly the quality conversations that ensued were what it was all about.

A lovely Japanese journalist attended, her name was Akane, and she was astounded at seeing women being proud of making their own money, she asked me ‘Don’t women just want to marry a rich man?‘  I had to think about it, ‘We probably would like to‘ I replied, ‘but the reality is that we all have to earn now and there are fantastic things about that, that we can celebrate.’ What do you think, are we kidding ourselves, if the fairy tale prince came along would you be willing to stay at home and play the role of homemaker? Are we just making the most of a bad situation? I know that I am so aligned with my work that I couldn’t imagine being fulfilled without, but maybe you feel differently. Would love to know your thoughts.

Akane was inspired by the event and will be guest blogging here soon, so watch this space.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Floella Benjamins 4 C’s philosophy on life

Floella Benjamin

At the age of 64 Floella Benjamin is still lively and youthful. For those of my generation Floella is best known for being a presenter on the children’s TV show Play School

What you might not know is that on 28 June 2010, Lady Benjamin was introduced to the House of Lords as a Life Peer nominated by the Liberal Democrats with title Baroness Benjamin, of Beckenham in the County of Kent.

In this role Floella is a campaigner for families and especially children. I met Floella once, the experience evoked so many childhood memories that I babbled like a schoolgirl and she politely and kindly smiled at me – I imagine this happens to her all the time.

This week Floella led a talk on Women in the 21st Century at the House of Lords, which I joined online. She shared her 4 C’s philosophy for life and I am sharing them with you below:

1 – Consideration – not to be judgemental – you never know what others situations are, just because they are not reacting in the way you want them to, or by your rules, it doesn’t mean that it’s personal.

2 – Contentment – have a happy and contented heart – don’t be jealous of others, instead learn to live with less. She asked ‘Why are we neglecting our children, why do we always want more?’

3 – Confidence – have high self esteem, high self worth – you need to be able to look in the mirror and say I like that person looking back at me. The more you give, the more you will receive, even if that wasn’t your intention.

4 – Courage – stand up for truth – always stand up for what your believe in!

Floella also mentioned the specific challenges that women have, such as being invisible in the workplace and she said that black women may have to take their foot off the accelerator so not as to be perceived as aggressive in the work place.

Her comment that most resonated with me was ‘women are like babies, throw them in the deep end and they’ll survive’

So what do you think about Floella’s 4C’s? It”s likely one will stand out for you that you will particularly need to work on. Take a look and work out why and what you might need to do.

Looking at 64 year old Floella, this philosophy obviously has anti ageing effects, so its worth a try!

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

How to make your Marriage more Exciting

Happy Couple sitting under a treeAny long-term relationship will need invigorating at some point. Busy lives, children, work and the drudgery of life (by drudgery I mean housework) can really get in the way of focusing on your relationship.
Before you know it, you haven’t really spoken in a week. Ships passing in the night, living in the same home, but having a pretty transactional relationship, or just too tired to engage and taking each other for granted.

Here are 5 ways to make your Marriage more Exciting

1. Discover together
Whether it’s a new restaurant, new country, new sport or new hobby, discover something that neither of you have tried nor experienced before and go for it. This will provide you with something different to talk about and share, you are likely to realize that there is still more to learn about each other.

2. Nurture
You don’t expect your plants to survive without water, or your friends to keep calling if you take no interest in them, do you? In the same way your partnership cant thrive without some commitment to helping it grow and develop. Regular date nights, even if they are at home with a movie and a picnic on your living room floor are critical for reconnecting.

3. Look and feel ‘hot’
I know you want to relax when you get home, slip on that onesie and a pair of slippers, but what does that do for your marriage? If you feel your best, your partner will sense that and make the effort also, helping you to rekindle your attraction to each other.

4. Reminisce
Perhaps you have kids who have taken over most of your daytime hours, or are working or studying hard. With these demands it’s easy to forget the good times and what interested you about partner in the first place. You could watch your wedding video, look at old photos, or revisit the music you both loved when you first met. This will reawaken the emotions you felt when you were first together.

5. Create a sanctuary
Have a space in your home where distractions such as mobile phones and TV’s are not allowed, so that you can focus on each other. Talking, listening and relaxing in comfort, nurturing your friendship.

Marriage is a marathon not a sprint, so don’t think that you can do this for a week and then forget about it. It’s a continual commitment that will reap real rewards. Give it a try.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Barbara de Angelis

Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Daily Inspiration: 3 quotes to get you through your day

Pomegranate

I am sharing 3 inspirational quotes that I hope will guide you through the day. They particularly resonated with me.

I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship. – Louisa May Alcott.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming….. WOO HOO…. What a RIDE!”

It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine. – Byron Katie.

Have an inspired day

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

How to Be the Most Organized Person in the World (Infographic)

I came across this fabulous infographic via Skirts and Ladders, a new network led by Lily Dey, designed to release the potential of early career women and accelerate their journeys as future leaders.

I was very flattered to learn that Lily has read Rocking Your Role, and chosen it to launch the Skirts and Ladders book club taking place on 12th February, 2013 at Canary Wharf,to find out more go to the Skirts and Ladders website.

Be the most organized person in the world

More Health and Fitness News & Tips at Greatist.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Why you must invest in womankind

Women having coffee togetherI talk to women all the time, I love to share the good stuff, but what I have found through being a main earner and talking to others who are, is that often the most important stuff is left unsaid.

When was the last time you shared your story, not to burden someone, but to help them?

The act of sharing, talking and being with other women in a similar position is an opportunity for you to become clearer about your own identity as a main earner. Conversations will make a radical difference to how you do things and how you experience the world. For a start it can help you realise you’re not alone!

The research I did for my book, Rocking You Role: the how to guide to success for female breadwinners, meant I was lucky enough to hear a variety of stories from women main earners. Each had her own unique path but often faced similar highs and lows. These conversations helped me to create a walkthrough for others that might be struggling with similar issues or a way to celebrate and articulate achievements.

You might think, I’m not a group person or I don’t need more friends, but moving from me to we gives you more resources to handle your situation. It’s important that you share with other women like you and invest in womankind like the women in my book have. Here are some ways you might do it:

Utilise an informal network - you have amassed an informal network of colleagues and friends so use them to start you off. Perhaps you could write down five names of women you know that are in a similar situation and five you suspect might be and set a target to have conversations with them. You might even want to set up your own network. For a guide on how to get started email me mailto:info@rcokingyourrole.com

Join an existing group - have a think about an existing group you can join. It could be a speech giving class or even a book club. It doesn’t have to be focused on female breadwinners; any group that allows you to get into contact with other professional women is a chance to meet another main earner.

Attend focussed events- there are lots of events you could go to throughout the year that are especially focused on encouraging professional women to network. Here you can quickly hear and share stories and grow your circle of contacts.

Get online - online groups are easy to set up or join. The advantage is you can access them anytime and you benefit from anonymity. Plus you get a wider geographical reach. You could also try sharing your own reflections through a blog or by writing an article. Feel free to join the Rocking Your Role LinkedIn group to meet like-minded women.

Share with me- if all else fails you can always use me. I am always happy to hear other women’s experiences and finding ways to share them. Get in touch via Twitter @JennyGarrett or email me with your story.

Don’t be wary of other women main earners. Seek them out to find out more about yourself- it is surprising what we learn from each other and what we can teach. So go on, start the conversation today and don’t forget to let me know how you get on.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners.

Stay at home Dads / Female Breadwinners – Two sides of the same coin?

stay_at_home_dadwork-life-balance_crop380w5-1

What a week its been for families.

The European Commission revealed research which showed that there has been growth of 10% in Female breadwinners during the economic crisis, and official employment statistics revealed this week also showed that  men now make up nearly 10 per cent of those who care for children while their partner goes out to work.

The Telegraph initially picked up this story and I was interviewed by Emma Sinclair  from their Wonder Women feature, she questioned Why Female Breadwinners are still Taboo. This was followed quickly by Sam Marsden who featured the story on the Rise in Stay At Home Fathers being fuelled by the growth of Female Breadwinners on front page of the Telegraph

Marie Claire, the Daily Mail and even the Wall Street Examiner quickly picked up on the story

Why is this news worthy, i hear you groan?

Because it seems that an important maybe transformation shift might just be taking place right under our noses.

The reason could be that traditionally male dominated sectors, such as construction and finance have been hardest hit by the recession and so men are finding themselves out of work, having to retrain or sit it out until things improve. It could also be that women are ‘cheap‘ and when making tough decisions about cost, a woman doing the same job will cost you around 82% of what a man would have done.

However, there may be something more fundamental than a temporary or circumstantial blip taking place, men and women may be actually being honest about what they enjoy.  If you are a man who has been slogging it out for many years in a career that you don’t enjoy and perhaps been an almost absent father, why shouldn’t you be able to put all of your energy into home making, without being teased by your friends, treated in fascination by the yummy mummies at the playgroup or called lazy by the older generation?

If you are a woman who has felt unvalued by employers because you work part-time, or may inconvenience them by having a baby at some point.  Or felt that you couldn’t leave your children as you didn’t have childcare that you could trust, how wonderful to now have a stay at home Dad to rely on.

The truth is being the breadwinner is hard whether you are the man or woman, however women take on more of the household and caring responsibilities whatever their role. They also feel guilty about not giving their all in and outside the home, whereas men appear to be more focused in their approach and don’t carry the guilt so heavily on their shoulders.

It seems we have a lot to learn from each other, but it starts with accepting that roles are changing and that its OK. I would argue that it is still taboo and that when a woman tells you that hubby is at home with the kids you search for an explanation for it.  For some reason there needs to be an excuse, we should stop searching for this.

Breadwinning is easy when there is enough money to go around, but much harder when the bread you win isn’t enough.  Let’s face it there has to be some pay off!

My wish is that we just make it easier – easier for women and men to have flexible working, easier for families to craft the balance they want traditional or not. Fundamentally men and women will need some help adapting to these roles, navigating the work place and their lives in a way that is radically different.

This freedom will bring choices, let’s hope we make the right ones.

Have your say on the subject of Breadwinners, please complete and share this survey  by 31st January, 2013

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners.

A review of Rocking Your Role, all the way from Chicago, enjoy

Rocking Your Role, the 'how to' guide to success for female breadwinners

Rocking Your Role, the ‘how to’ guide to success for female breadwinners

I have been making some wonderful connections via LinkedIn

One of them has provided her feedback on the first chapter of my book ‘Rocking Your Role, all the way from Chicago.

She concludes ‘Thus, it is evermore important for women to invest and empower themselves in order to combat the backlash. more comfortable you are in your role, the easier it will be to take on the world, no matter the context.

Read the rest here “Rocking Your Role” by Jenny Garrett. and feel free to comment

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Epitome of Motherhood – must watch for busy Mums

The only videos that I usually recommend are TED Videos, they are inspiring and thought provoking.

However this video really resonated with me, surprisingly it’s a FIAT 500L advert, but it’s entitled Motherhood.

The Motherhood rap video details the realities of life as a modern mum and has notched up over one million views

It made me chuckle anyway

Let me know what you think

 

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Small business can be beautiful

I am one of the Sage business experts, and they have produced a fantastic infographic on small business growth in the UK.

From Sage

From Sage

I applaud the many women who starting or already running micro-businessses, often with little resources to get them started.

I often hear women downplay their endeavours, particularly when they compare themselves to the big guns they feel that they are not making a significant contribution.

This infographic however shows that the startling figure that 99.9% of all UK enterprises are SME’s and 3 in 4 businesses have just 1 employee.

So if you are plugging away at your small business, remember you are not alone

Think about:

  • Collaborating on joint ventures
  • Promoting complimentary services
  • Or just finding ways to help your fellow micro-businesses

Together you can be powerful!!

…and maybe think about creating a Jelly to ease the isolation you might be experiencing

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Post Navigation

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 4,633 other followers

%d bloggers like this: