Asda’s Mumdex – women are control freaks intent on doing it all
‘Some 9 out of 10 Asda mums contribute to the household income and a quarter are earning over half of it. There have been great strides towards financial and workplace equality’
‘But at home we’re still the skivvies. Cooking and cleaning? Some 70 per cent feel it’s their responsibility. Washing and ironing is the chore of eight out of ten’ says Jo Davison of the The Star
She goes onto say that it’s women’s fault because we don’t think men can do things as well as we can.
She has a point, I call this Superwoman Syndrome. I see women falling foul of this syndrome on a daily basis, dropping like flies as they leave the train station. ‘I might as well do it myself as no one can do it well as me’ , ‘I have a handle on it all’, ‘ If I have to stay up until midnight catching up on my work so that I can attend the musical theatre practice, it’s worth it’, are their familiar mantras. Women working all hours of the day and night around the household chores, and not giving others permission to support me them.
Femi, an accountant, in her thirties with two boys, found that her husband was waiting for her to come home to decide what to cook for dinner. She understood that she had created this problem, always wanting to be in control and make sure things were done ‘properly’. She had to take a step back and give her husband permission to cook. ‘Now the children are fed before I get home in the evening, it’s not always what I would have chosen, but they’re happy and healthy and it’s one less thing for me to worry about.”
My advice: Listen and listen carefully, it’s OK not to be able to do it all. Repeat after me, it’s OK not to be able to do it all. Now say it out loud, it’s OK not to do be able to do it all.
Our ability to ‘do it all’ is a myth that we as women perpetuate – just like the one that supermodels don’t have cellulite…Right!
Your capability can render others incapable, be careful not to overplay your strength and leave those around you too weak to contribute.
So throw off that cape, trust others to do it their way, you might even learn something. After all of the Mums Asda interviewed:
- 61% want help and support with cleaning and tidying the house
- 51% want more support from their partners
Let’s start today
You can purchase my book ‘Rocking Your Role’ outlining a 12 step process to support female breadwinners from amazon
I also have a suite of programmes and services to support female breadwinners, see them here