rockingyourrole

For women who Rock their Role in work and life

Archive for the category “Inspiration”

Lean In or Retreat?

Sheryl Sandberg is currently advocating in her book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, that women should go towards opportunities. I agree that women shouldn’t hold themselves back, but I think that there are times when women should retreat.

You see going full steam ahead without conscious thought, enough physical, spiritual or psychological resource, can be more damaging than doing nothing.

Have you ever?

  • been up all night with poorly children and then had to work the next day
  • had to deal with a family or relationship crisis while being all smiles at work
  • felt unwell but afraid to take a day off

The fact is on days like those above, the answer is not to lean in, but retreat.

Think of it like a battle, when your soldiers are injured and depleted you don’t go into attack, do you?

The dictionary defines ‘retreat ‘as

*The act or process of withdrawing, especially from something hazardous, formidable, or unpleasant.

*A place affording peace, quiet, privacy, or security

*A period of seclusion, retirement, or solitude.

*Withdrawal of a military force from a dangerous position or from an enemy attack.

Sometimes you need to go back to go forward, so you at least have a fighting chance.

Retreating is the answer if:

  • You are at a turning point in your life
  • Seeking clarity or insight
  • Wanting to dive deeply within
  • You want to reconnect your inner life to your outer life
  • Slowing your life down
  • Needing rest, deep relaxation, healing and rejuvenation

How you do it is your choice, but here are a five ideas:

  1. Journaling
  2. Getting closer to nature
  3. Meditating/Mindfulness practice
  4. Yoga
  5. Taking a few days to take part in a retreat

When you are back to feeling fully resourceful and know what you want, then of course, take Sheryl’s advice and Lean In.

From the 11th-15th July, I will be leading a  Life Coaching Retreat at the Premier Luxury Mountain Resort, Bansko, Bulgaria. Come along to Relax, Re-energise and Refocus. See this video for more information

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

‘Don’t women just want to marry a rich man’?

Jenny Garrett_launch of Skirts & Ladders

Photos at the launch of Skirts & Ladders

I had the pleasure of being asked to speak at the launch of Lily Dey’s women’s network Skirts & Ladders. Lily defines her network as a dynamic environment designed to release the potential of early career women and accelerate their journeys as future leaders. Her first event was a book club with a twist.

The women were encouraged to read the selected book in advance, namely Rocking Your Role. I delivered a short talk, about why I wrote the book and my passion for supporting women who are the main earner. This was then followed by discussions around a series of themes that the book highlighted, which were facilitated by an experienced group coach.

The venue was excellent, and so were the bubbles, but most importantly the quality conversations that ensued were what it was all about.

A lovely Japanese journalist attended, her name was Akane, and she was astounded at seeing women being proud of making their own money, she asked me ‘Don’t women just want to marry a rich man?‘  I had to think about it, ‘We probably would like to‘ I replied, ‘but the reality is that we all have to earn now and there are fantastic things about that, that we can celebrate.’ What do you think, are we kidding ourselves, if the fairy tale prince came along would you be willing to stay at home and play the role of homemaker? Are we just making the most of a bad situation? I know that I am so aligned with my work that I couldn’t imagine being fulfilled without, but maybe you feel differently. Would love to know your thoughts.

Akane was inspired by the event and will be guest blogging here soon, so watch this space.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Floella Benjamins 4 C’s philosophy on life

Floella Benjamin

At the age of 64 Floella Benjamin is still lively and youthful. For those of my generation Floella is best known for being a presenter on the children’s TV show Play School

What you might not know is that on 28 June 2010, Lady Benjamin was introduced to the House of Lords as a Life Peer nominated by the Liberal Democrats with title Baroness Benjamin, of Beckenham in the County of Kent.

In this role Floella is a campaigner for families and especially children. I met Floella once, the experience evoked so many childhood memories that I babbled like a schoolgirl and she politely and kindly smiled at me – I imagine this happens to her all the time.

This week Floella led a talk on Women in the 21st Century at the House of Lords, which I joined online. She shared her 4 C’s philosophy for life and I am sharing them with you below:

1 – Consideration – not to be judgemental – you never know what others situations are, just because they are not reacting in the way you want them to, or by your rules, it doesn’t mean that it’s personal.

2 – Contentment – have a happy and contented heart – don’t be jealous of others, instead learn to live with less. She asked ‘Why are we neglecting our children, why do we always want more?’

3 – Confidence – have high self esteem, high self worth – you need to be able to look in the mirror and say I like that person looking back at me. The more you give, the more you will receive, even if that wasn’t your intention.

4 – Courage – stand up for truth – always stand up for what your believe in!

Floella also mentioned the specific challenges that women have, such as being invisible in the workplace and she said that black women may have to take their foot off the accelerator so not as to be perceived as aggressive in the work place.

Her comment that most resonated with me was ‘women are like babies, throw them in the deep end and they’ll survive’

So what do you think about Floella’s 4C’s? It”s likely one will stand out for you that you will particularly need to work on. Take a look and work out why and what you might need to do.

Looking at 64 year old Floella, this philosophy obviously has anti ageing effects, so its worth a try!

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

How to increase your Spiritual power

Quote: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience...We are spiritual beings having a human experienceI have had feedback from those that have observed me that I am a’spiritual person’.  When I first received this feedback I was a bit resistant to it, as I wasn’t sure what they meant.

I made a connection between spiritual and religion, and wondered how my religion was showing itself in my daily life.

However when I probed to ask what made people say I was a ‘spiritual person’, I was given feedback about being:

  • Centered
  • Connected
  • Intuitive
  • Empathetic
  • In tune with my life purpose
  • Peaceful and serene

…. and it then made sense to me.  I would definitely say that I am deeply connected to my self and what’s important to me.

Now that I am aware of it, I endeavour to increase my Spiritual power.  Here are some ways you can too.

 

1. Meditate

I am a big fan of Samarpan meditation, but whatever you do is fine. You could also practice Mindfulness or just do some breathing exercises.  The idea is that you declutter your mind, still your thoughts and become calm and tap into your inner power.

 2. Spend Time in Nature

Nature is rich with beauty and life, but how often do you notice it or take the time to absorb its energy.  Sitting by a river, walking through some woods, or relaxing against a tree are just some ways to reconnect with the living energy of nature and within your self.

3. Listen to new music. Let your mind wander and write down your thoughts.

In the same way as meditation clears your mind, so does music. Try listening to instrumentals, or to music from a language you don’t understand. This way you can full engage in the music not be taken away by the story that comes from the words.

4. Forgive yourself. You’ve beaten yourself up enough; it’s time to let it go.

When you connect with your spiritual power you can no longer blame yourself, you cannot live in the past only the present.  Part of the process is to unburden.

5. Forgive someone else, this will release you from the pain caused by resentment.

To live in the ‘now‘, as Ekhart Tolle would say, we have to let go of the past and this includes any issues we have with others.

Give it a try, it may be uncomfortable or challenging at first and a continual process of development, but has the potential to be life changing.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin :

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Leadership Roles – How to Mentor someone

It’s no secret that I am a big fan of mentoring. I mentor women as part of the ASPIRE programme, the Cherie Blair Foundation, CityMothers and individuals that have approached me. I was very flattered to be shortlisted for the PRECIOUS Mentor of the Year in 2012.

I see mentoring women as a duty to that I am delighted to perform, when the chemistry is right and my capacity can cope with it.

Perhaps you have thought of being a mentor, but weren’t sure if you had the skills or how to start.  I came across this 3 minute video which I thought you would find informative

I’ll leave you with my top tips for mentors:

  • Get down and dirty – you can’t mentor from a distance, you have to get your hands dirty and understand the nitty gritty of what your mentee does.
  • Open doors – use your connections and your networks to open doors for your mentee.
  • Don’t let your mentee off the hook, keep them focused and on track to act.
  • Meet regularly – weekly or bi-monthly to keep the momentum going, the sessions can be short and sweet.
  • Be prepared to learn as much as your mentee does.

I really hope that it helps

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Daily Inspiration: 3 quotes to get you through your day

Pomegranate

I am sharing 3 inspirational quotes that I hope will guide you through the day. They particularly resonated with me.

I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship. – Louisa May Alcott.

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming….. WOO HOO…. What a RIDE!”

It’s not your job to like me, it’s mine. – Byron Katie.

Have an inspired day

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Are you a Diva on Demand?

I recently had the pleasure of being asked to be a guest speaker at the 2nd Divas on Demand event at the Museum of London .

Divas on Demand is a networking society that gathers like minded professionals every month to discuss various topics.

The topic for the night I attended was Secrets of Successful women, with themes of relationships and spirituality running through it.

Image of Lexy, Claudia Liza and Jenny Garrett

My fellow speakers were the lovely energetic and vivacious Claudia Liza who is a BBC Three presenter, and exceptionally beautiful Gemma Feare, Miss Jamaica UK

Divas on Demand Panel - Claudia Liza, Gemma Feare and Jenny Garrett

Jenny Garrett speakingView of the audience at Divas on Demand

After, Claudia, Gemma and I shared what we believed were secrets of successful women, questions were addressed to us from the audience, ranging from advice to young women looking for a partner to what we’d say to our 15 years old selves.

It was great fun, in a supportive and encouraging environment.

If you haven’t been along to a Divas on Demand event yet, I highly recommend it…. and it seems men can be Divas too, because many attended.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

How to Be the Most Organized Person in the World (Infographic)

I came across this fabulous infographic via Skirts and Ladders, a new network led by Lily Dey, designed to release the potential of early career women and accelerate their journeys as future leaders.

I was very flattered to learn that Lily has read Rocking Your Role, and chosen it to launch the Skirts and Ladders book club taking place on 12th February, 2013 at Canary Wharf,to find out more go to the Skirts and Ladders website.

Be the most organized person in the world

More Health and Fitness News & Tips at Greatist.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Why you must invest in womankind

Women having coffee togetherI talk to women all the time, I love to share the good stuff, but what I have found through being a main earner and talking to others who are, is that often the most important stuff is left unsaid.

When was the last time you shared your story, not to burden someone, but to help them?

The act of sharing, talking and being with other women in a similar position is an opportunity for you to become clearer about your own identity as a main earner. Conversations will make a radical difference to how you do things and how you experience the world. For a start it can help you realise you’re not alone!

The research I did for my book, Rocking You Role: the how to guide to success for female breadwinners, meant I was lucky enough to hear a variety of stories from women main earners. Each had her own unique path but often faced similar highs and lows. These conversations helped me to create a walkthrough for others that might be struggling with similar issues or a way to celebrate and articulate achievements.

You might think, I’m not a group person or I don’t need more friends, but moving from me to we gives you more resources to handle your situation. It’s important that you share with other women like you and invest in womankind like the women in my book have. Here are some ways you might do it:

Utilise an informal network – you have amassed an informal network of colleagues and friends so use them to start you off. Perhaps you could write down five names of women you know that are in a similar situation and five you suspect might be and set a target to have conversations with them. You might even want to set up your own network. For a guide on how to get started email me mailto:info@rcokingyourrole.com

Join an existing group – have a think about an existing group you can join. It could be a speech giving class or even a book club. It doesn’t have to be focused on female breadwinners; any group that allows you to get into contact with other professional women is a chance to meet another main earner.

Attend focussed events– there are lots of events you could go to throughout the year that are especially focused on encouraging professional women to network. Here you can quickly hear and share stories and grow your circle of contacts.

Get online – online groups are easy to set up or join. The advantage is you can access them anytime and you benefit from anonymity. Plus you get a wider geographical reach. You could also try sharing your own reflections through a blog or by writing an article. Feel free to join the Rocking Your Role LinkedIn group to meet like-minded women.

Share with me– if all else fails you can always use me. I am always happy to hear other women’s experiences and finding ways to share them. Get in touch via Twitter @JennyGarrett or email me with your story.

Don’t be wary of other women main earners. Seek them out to find out more about yourself- it is surprising what we learn from each other and what we can teach. So go on, start the conversation today and don’t forget to let me know how you get on.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners.

Self-Confidence, Self-Criticism and Self-Sabotage

I came across this Blog by Ann Ulrich through one of the members of my LinkedIn group Afi Afori, who incidentally has launched the Women in Sales awards which will take place this year

Every one of us needs to be confident about what we have to offer the world.  For some reason the self-criticim and self-sabotage is more apparent among women.  I wont go into what I feel the reasons are here, although I know it starts from childhood

Anyway read Ann’s article and let me know what you think Self-Confidence, Self-Criticism & Self-Sabotage.  I hope it makes a difference!

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

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