rockingyourrole

For women who Rock their Role in work and life

Archive for the tag “Main earner”

On the Move

moving-truck-vintage

Thank you so much to you for taking the time to read this blog over the past year.

The highlight so far was the day I received 4606 visits!

You may know that there are 2 sides to my business:

1. Reflexion Associates – Leadership coaching and coach training in organisations

2. Rocking Your Role – my book, speaking engagements, training and support for women executives, entrepreneurs and breadwinners

I have decided to consolidate my blog into my sites and would really appreciate it if you would subscribe to one or both of my blogs in their new home.

I won’t be posting here any longer.

1. Reflexion Associates blog – http://reflexion-uk.co.uk/?cat=17 , register for updates via the newsletter sign up box at the top of the page

2. Rocking Your Role blog –  http://rockingyourrole.com/blog/ , add your email in the subscribe box

See you at the house warming

Warm wishes

Jenny

Jenny Garrett

+44 (0) 844 776 4744

jenny@reflexion-uk.co.uk

info@rockingyourrole.com

www.reflexion-uk.co.uk

www.rockingyourrole.com

What’s your legacy as a woman breadwinner?

You are leaving a lasting legacy

You are leaving a lasting legacy

Here are a couple of responses I had from women on being the breadwinner recently:

I see myself as a role model for my niece, that you can’t leave it all up to a man. You have to be able to support yourself and if need be your family.

I know not to say I am the main bread winner, this seems to be a thing of shame to my male partners family and they would never acknowledge or talk about it. People still talk as if the money is his and I spend it – which is strange.

What sort of legacy are you leaving as a female breadwinner? Is it positive where you exude confidence, are happy and helping to establish a new normal? Or is it negative where you’re stressed, burdened and angry with your lot?

Coping with the highs and lows of financial independence, balancing traditional roles with new ones and remembering to take care of yourself isn’t easy. But you should bear in mind that however you choose to manage these challenges, your actions will leave a legacy for those that follow in your footsteps.

If you haven’t reflected on the legacy you leave or how you’re a role model and have influence over others, this is a good time to start. Think about it, if you were teaching someone to drive you would show them how to do it well and model your best self. It’s the same with showing the world how to be a female breadwinner. You need to display best practice whenever you can.

How you choose to be in the role of breadwinner has a significant effect on those around you. In my book Rocking Your Role: the ‘how to’ guide to success for female breadwinners I spoke to women main earners that were leaving a positive legacy for those that follow by making their corner of the world work.

Here are a few points I picked up:

Enjoy it – have pride in what you are doing even if it happened by accident or is a temporary situation. Ditch the guilt around being a female breadwinner and try to enjoy your role. This will give others the confidence to do so too.

Set your own terms– the role of main earner is traditionally male and you may work in a male dominated area, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like one. Let go of other’s assumptions to formulate the unique vision of you. You can be a main earner on your own terms; you just need to brave enough to set them.

Avoid superwoman syndrome– when you try to do it all and present an image that nothing has to give when juggling family and work you send out the wrong message. It’s an impossible charade that hurts you and the people that look up to you.

Stay healthy- if you want future female main earners to have a good sense of well-being, to feel physically and mentally healthy then you should place these things high on the agenda for yourself.

Embrace femininity– it can be hard to be able to display feminine characteristics in a traditional male role or even at work with many male colleagues but don’t shun them. It can send the wrong message to our daughters, sisters and nieces as well as the males in our lives.

As a female breadwinner you are one of the new breed of women that the world is watching. Whether you like it or not you now wear the badge of trendsetter or pioneer – so why not use your new position of power to encourage a positive legacy to help future female main earners? Give it a try and see the difference it makes to those around you.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.comand sign up for my newsletter

Stay at home Dads / Female Breadwinners – Two sides of the same coin?

stay_at_home_dadwork-life-balance_crop380w5-1

What a week its been for families.

The European Commission revealed research which showed that there has been growth of 10% in Female breadwinners during the economic crisis, and official employment statistics revealed this week also showed that  men now make up nearly 10 per cent of those who care for children while their partner goes out to work.

The Telegraph initially picked up this story and I was interviewed by Emma Sinclair  from their Wonder Women feature, she questioned Why Female Breadwinners are still Taboo. This was followed quickly by Sam Marsden who featured the story on the Rise in Stay At Home Fathers being fuelled by the growth of Female Breadwinners on front page of the Telegraph

Marie Claire, the Daily Mail and even the Wall Street Examiner quickly picked up on the story

Why is this news worthy, i hear you groan?

Because it seems that an important maybe transformation shift might just be taking place right under our noses.

The reason could be that traditionally male dominated sectors, such as construction and finance have been hardest hit by the recession and so men are finding themselves out of work, having to retrain or sit it out until things improve. It could also be that women are ‘cheap‘ and when making tough decisions about cost, a woman doing the same job will cost you around 82% of what a man would have done.

However, there may be something more fundamental than a temporary or circumstantial blip taking place, men and women may be actually being honest about what they enjoy.  If you are a man who has been slogging it out for many years in a career that you don’t enjoy and perhaps been an almost absent father, why shouldn’t you be able to put all of your energy into home making, without being teased by your friends, treated in fascination by the yummy mummies at the playgroup or called lazy by the older generation?

If you are a woman who has felt unvalued by employers because you work part-time, or may inconvenience them by having a baby at some point.  Or felt that you couldn’t leave your children as you didn’t have childcare that you could trust, how wonderful to now have a stay at home Dad to rely on.

The truth is being the breadwinner is hard whether you are the man or woman, however women take on more of the household and caring responsibilities whatever their role. They also feel guilty about not giving their all in and outside the home, whereas men appear to be more focused in their approach and don’t carry the guilt so heavily on their shoulders.

It seems we have a lot to learn from each other, but it starts with accepting that roles are changing and that its OK. I would argue that it is still taboo and that when a woman tells you that hubby is at home with the kids you search for an explanation for it.  For some reason there needs to be an excuse, we should stop searching for this.

Breadwinning is easy when there is enough money to go around, but much harder when the bread you win isn’t enough.  Let’s face it there has to be some pay off!

My wish is that we just make it easier – easier for women and men to have flexible working, easier for families to craft the balance they want traditional or not. Fundamentally men and women will need some help adapting to these roles, navigating the work place and their lives in a way that is radically different.

This freedom will bring choices, let’s hope we make the right ones.

Have your say on the subject of Breadwinners, please complete and share this survey  by 31st January, 2013

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners.

A review of Rocking Your Role, all the way from Chicago, enjoy

Rocking Your Role, the 'how to' guide to success for female breadwinners

Rocking Your Role, the ‘how to’ guide to success for female breadwinners

I have been making some wonderful connections via LinkedIn

One of them has provided her feedback on the first chapter of my book ‘Rocking Your Role, all the way from Chicago.

She concludes ‘Thus, it is evermore important for women to invest and empower themselves in order to combat the backlash. more comfortable you are in your role, the easier it will be to take on the world, no matter the context.

Read the rest here “Rocking Your Role” by Jenny Garrett. and feel free to comment

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Epitome of Motherhood – must watch for busy Mums

The only videos that I usually recommend are TED Videos, they are inspiring and thought provoking.

However this video really resonated with me, surprisingly it’s a FIAT 500L advert, but it’s entitled Motherhood.

The Motherhood rap video details the realities of life as a modern mum and has notched up over one million views

It made me chuckle anyway

Let me know what you think

 

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Women’s Ways

Womens Ways_Jenny Garrett_Rocking Your Role

 As a female breadwinner have you ever caught yourself suppressing your feminine traits in order to succeed? I know I have, in the past at work I’ve worn trouser suits, changed my language and not valued my unique perspective.  And at home in moments I’m not proud of ‘I’ve talked about being capable of being man and woman of the house’

One thing that influenced and helped me value my feminine perspective was reading a book called Women’s Ways of Knowing I read this book when I was studying for my Masters in Management Learning and Leadership at Lancaster University and it has stayed with me.  The book is based on the research from interviews with 135 women and describes five different perspectives from which women view reality and draw conclusions about truth, knowledge, and authority. How they often feel silenced by what could be described as masculine, logical and singular arguments.

What’s interesting for me is that because the masculine is often rewarded, women and men can start to devalue their feminine qualities.  The reality is that men are encouraged to be as masculine as possible and women are taught to downplay feminine characteristics to get ahead in the workplace. I however believe that your femininity has a unique value. Precious attributes like emotional intelligence, a draw towards collaboration and social responsibility can set you apart for the better.

It makes sense that a woman taking on the traditionally masculine role breadwinner means that you combine the masculine and the feminine. But if you find the masculine taking over in a way that is not good for you, you may need to rekindle your femininity.

In my book Rocking Your Role, I provide a framework in order to help you determine the qualities you work hard to present to the world and the ways to turn these off when you need to. Here are some tips to get started:

Value feminine traits– don’t push feminine traits aside because they are not valued in the workplace or because of your role as main earner. Bring one feminine quality back into your day for 30 days to remind yourself how useful it can be. Embrace being motherly, vulnerable, emotional, quiet, soft, loving, kind or whichever quality it is that you have been suppressing and notice the difference it makes in your life.

Nurture your femininity – once you have learned to value your feminine side don’t forget to look after it whatever it is that makes you feel like a woman. This could be new lingerie, a shopping date, meditation, or a meal with friends. If it feels too girly, do it!

Set your own terms – the role of main earner is traditionally male and you may work in a male dominated environment, but that doesn’t mean you have to act like one. You can be a main earner on your own terms; educate others to value what you bring while also valuing what they have to offer. Future generations will be grateful that you did.

Remember being feminine isn’t a curse; it’s a blessing. Get back in touch with it and maintain your femininity, if not to show the world that it is ok, but to remind yourself that it is.

 

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. See my Certificated Rocking Your Role: Women Breadwinners and Entrepreneurs programme, it might be just the development that you’re looking for.

Why you must take a holiday

Why you should take holidays

RockingYourRole_Jenny Garrett

I’ve just come back to work from 3 weeks off over the Christmas period, which was fantastic.  I had time with my family, watched films from start to finish, which I rarely do (Horrible Bosses had me laughing out loud, great film if you haven’t seen it) and took long baths and read for pleasure.

I confess, I checked my social media, responded to the odd email but I didn’t attempt to or want to get my teeth into anything workwise.  This took discipline because I run my own business, and it’s really hard to switch off.  Even if you are employed, you know what it’s like.  For me there are always exciting opportunities, collaborations coming my way, conversations that I want to contribute to and new ideas that I want to put into action.

The result?  My first week back has been really productive, I purposefully didn’t book any external meetings, so have been burrowed away in my office.  I called it creative and planning time in my diary.

You know those things that you keep meaning to do but don’t and often end up doing over your holidays, well this week I’ve done those.

Things like writing new assignments for the ILM Coaching and Mentoring Course that I deliver, following up with clients to see their progress, deciding what I will delegate, archiving, actually booking in meetings with those connections that I know I would benefit from chatting over coffee with and putting together a clear strategy for 2013.

What’s even better, is that I have done them with a clear head and relaxed body, I know I have been more productive and the quality of my output has been better than it would have done otherwise.  You see when I get too busy, too tired, I lose my groundedness, my centre, my connection to what’s important.  This is why I take regular time out to make sure that every connection is a good one, that my intentions are connected to what’s important to me: supporting women juggling work and home, particularly those who are the main earner. Ultimately, I want to be the best: wife, mother, daughter, granddaughter, employer, coach, colleague, speaker, author, friend, I can be without losing myself in the process.

So what am I going to do to keep working from this good place:

  1. Meditate at least 3 times a week in order to keep my mind clear and my focus sharp – the Chopra center does a 21 day mediation – only 5 minutes per day which is really effective
  2. Book in my holidays now – if I wait for a gap in the diary it wont come.  I am going to book three holiday slots in my diary when I will not be working.  These don’t have to be exotic holidays, you can be at home if you’re disciplined enough.
  3. Keep delegating – I know that family, friends, colleagues all want to help if I give them the space and guidance to do so.

So what about you? Reach for that diary right now and book those dates out, and feel the weight lift off your shoulders and your productivity improve. Even if you can’t control the amount of holiday you take, make sure that you take the maximum entitled to you.

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – the how to guide to success for female breadwinners. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com and sign up for my newsletter

Leadership Success programme for Women – 4th March, 2013

Want to live in state of contentment, happiness and abundance in 2013?

Want to:

  • feel truly present at work and in your family roles?
  • Have ‘me’ time?
  • Feel that you have choices?
  • That you can share the responsibility and it’s not all down to you?
  • Be guilt- free?

This one day programme is designed to help you Rock Your Roles in life

BOOK NOW early bird ends 14th Jan, 2013

——————

Speakers:

Andrew Priestley – international speaker and award winning coach will share the ten money managing skills that WILL make a profound difference to your relationship with money

Joanna Pieters – founder of Time Wizard will share how to choose, use and manage outsourcing to help you succeed at home and at work

Amber Khan – wellness mentor and author will set you on the path to living a guilt-free life

Jenny Garrett – executive coach, speaker and author will practical steps to move you from struggling and juggling to rocking your roles in life

Find out more about us here

—————–

Learn:

  • How to have the ‘money’ conversation that you’ve been avoiding
  • Improve your communication
  • How your leadership preference is impacting your communication
  • How to avoid the pitfalls that most Women Breadwinners fall into
  • Strategies to succeed and feel in control

——————

Who is it for:

Women who are the primary earner in their home

Women entrepreneurs

Women executives

***LImited to 8 particpants***

Programme Overview:

The aim of the programme is to help women like you, lead themselves to success:

Using the 12-step process designed by Jenny Garrett from her work coaching hundreds of women and outlined in the research in her book Rocking Your Role, you will:

  • Focus on your Personal and Professional Leadership skills
  • Increase your critical leadership skill of Self-Awareness
  • Understand the Emotions that may be holding you back
  • Embrace your Femininity as a strength
  • Celebrate Success
  • Action Plan

Benefits:

  • Increased Confidence in your ability to cope and succeed
  • Freedom from the shackles of guilt, resentment and shame
  • Improved sense of psychological, physical and spiritual Well-Being
  • Sense of Direction and Purpose
  • Community and Belonging through the Support of the group
  • An ILM (Institute of Leadership & Management) certificate

What have you got to lose?

No quibble money back guarantee if you dont find the day valuable

What participants have said:

****

A fabulous, supportive, empowering course for female breadwinners and entrepreneurs to share ideas

Hannah Foxley, Women’s Wealth Expert
****

Empowering and an eye opener

Aina Khan, Family Law Consultant

*****

Enlightening, delicate, but rich

Cherryl Martin, CMO with FTSE 100 Marketing, Sales and Business Performance Expertise

*****

Reflective of my needs

Caroline Peryagh, Director, Global Client Strategy

Book Now ***LImited to 8 participants*** early bird ends 14th January, 2013

See RockingyourRole.com for more about Jenny, her speaking engagements and events.

Speakers announced for Women Breadwinners Leadership Success Programme

Andrew Priestley ISMM-2Andrew Priestley is an award winning business coach, author and international professional speaker.

Qualified in Industrial and Organisational Psychology, Andrew helps people to both make and save more money and become more profitable.

This session will introduce you to ten money managing skills that WILL make a profound difference to your relationship with money. If your goal is to have more money you will enjoy this session. If your goal is to be debt-free this is a must.

Joanna Pieters
Joanna Pieters founded lifestyle organisation service Time Wizard after 15 years running large teams in high-pressure media businesses. Having seen friends and colleagues overwhelmed by the stress of juggling work, family, and health, she asked, ‘who can help?’ When the answer wasn’t obvious, she started Time Wizard to take on their to-do lists and daily tasks, allowing pressurised families to be healthier, happier and less stressed.

Joanna helps her clients be more successful by finding practical ways to identify and outsource appropriate areas of their lives. She helps clients see delegating at home as a sign of strength, rather than something to feel guilty about, allowing them to focus on the things that are most important to them and their families. An expert in delegation, organisation and productivity, Joanna is in regular demand from the UK media to talk on subjects as diverse as decluttering and time management.
This session will introduce you to how to choose, use and manage outsourcing to help you succeed at home and at work.
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Amber Khan is a wellness mentor, speaker, an entrepreneur &  a soon to be published author of Guilt-free Mum.
She has experience of working in the corporate environment, the pressure & responsibilities which come with it, in addition to the household responsibilities of a mother.
A health scare 2 years ago impelled her to change her lifestyle. To let go of the super mum & mummy-guilt syndromes for a healthier & sustainable future for herself & her family. She has since helped several mothers along their journey of guilt trips.
Amber is passionate about liberating mothers from ineffective practices & to put them on the path to living a guilt-free lifestyle.
and me – Jenny Garrett  423744_10150696561171514_1808655218_n

Sought after executive coach, mentor, founder of Reflexion Associates leadership consultancy and author of Rocking your Role.

I have featured extensively in the media, on programmes such as: Radio 4′s Woman’s Hour & Newstalk radio as well as writing articles and contributing to many national publications, such as Sun Employment and Glamour Magazine. I am also a blogger for the BOSS American woman’s online network. Over 10 years of experience as an executive coach and trainer has enabled me to create this practical and transformational programme.

Only 6 places left – BOOK NOW **** Early bird price only £75

Move from struggling and juggling to Rocking Your Role in life

Sound familiar:

  • Torn between work and family roles?
  • Zero ‘me’ time?
  • Feeling that you have limited choices?
  • It’s all down to you?
  • Riddled with guilt?

This one day programme is designed to move you from struggling and juggling to Rocking Your Role in life

Learn:

  • How to have the ‘money’ conversation that you’ve been avoiding
  • Improve your communication
  • How your leadership preference is impacting your communication
  • How to avoid the pitfalls that most Women Breadwinners fall into
  • Strategies to succeed and feel in control

Who is it for:

Women who are the primary earner in their home

Women entrepreneurs

Women executives

Only 6 places left – BOOK NOW **** Early bird price only £75

 

Programme Overview:

The aim of the programme is to help women like you, lead themselves to success:

Using the 12-step process designed by Jenny Garrett from her work coaching hundreds of women and outlined in the research in her book Rocking Your Role, you will:

  • Focus on your Personal and Professional Leadership skills
  • Increase your critical leadership skill of Self-Awareness
  • Understand the Emotions that may be holding you back
  • Embrace your Femininity as a strength
  • Celebrate Success
  • Action Plan

Benefits:

  • Increased Confidence in your ability to cope and succeed
  •  Freedom from the shackles of guilt, resentment and shame
  •  Improved sense of psychological, physical and spiritual Well-Being
  • Sense of Direction and Purpose
  • Community and Belonging through the Support of the group
  • An ILM (Institute of Leadership & Management) certificate

Only 6 places left – BOOK NOW **** Early bird price only £75

What participants have said:

****

A fabulous, supportive, empowering course for female breadwinners and entrepreneurs to share ideas

Hannah Foxley, Women’s Wealth Expert
****            

Empowering and an eye opener

Aina Khan, Family Law Consultant

*****         

Enlightening, delicate,  but rich

Cherryl Martin, CMO with FTSE 100 Marketing, Sales and Business Performance Expertise

*****

Reflective of my needs

Caroline Peryagh, Director, Global Client Strategy

Only 6 places left – BOOK NOW **** Early bird price only £75

Money, Money, Money in a rich woman’s world

Many British couples are burying their heads in the sand over their financial situations. One in seven1 (14 per cent) couples over the age of 40 – or around 4.22 million people – admit they have never discussed their finances, according to new research from Prudential.
Fears about having awkward conversations drives this behaviour, with 15 per cent of those surveyed admitting they feel uncomfortable talking to their partners about financial planning.
A concern that these conversations will boil over into arguments is another reason that couples avoid talking about their finances – money is the third most likely subject to cause arguments among couples, with nearly one in four (23 per cent) claiming that they fight over finances, ahead of work (10 per cent), and politics and religion (5 per cent). Only household chores (27 per cent) and disputes about family (30 per cent) are more likely to cause disagreements.
Even for the majority of couples who do discuss their retirement plans, long-term issues are likely to be side-lined, as short-term everyday expenses take priority. Daily living costs and household bills are regularly discussed by the majority of couples (60 per cent and 52 per cent respectively), and one in three couples (34 per cent) speak about the costs of home improvements, large purchases and luxuries.
However, discussions about long-term planning are far less prevalent, with only 16 per cent of couples claiming to regularly talk about retirement income and pension planning. Only three per cent of couples claim they have had conversations about inheritance planning and tax.
Vince Smith-Hughes, retirement expert at Prudential said: “Money can be a tough topic to discuss at the best of times. Many couples prefer to steer clear of conversations about finances, and especially discussions about longer-term issues like retirement which might feel light-years away.

When was the last time you spoke to your partner about money? Unfortunately, sex and money are the subjects least spoken about in relationships. Left un-discussed, the issue of money can lead to resentment, shame and guilt all seething under the surface.

As a female breadwinner, in an effort not to emasculate or disempower you may have chosen to avoid money conversations with your partner, leaving you with the full weight of responsibility. On the other hand you might have thought it unnecessary to talk and behave as you like because it’s your cash, assuming that your partners silence means that it is OK.

Whatever the dynamic, conversations about money need to happen so you and your family can live a much richer life. In my book Rocking Your Role: The how to guide to success for female breadwinners I provide a framework for that conversation. Here are a few tips from female breadwinners I have met.

Identify attitudes– defining attitudes towards money is a good way to get the conversation started. Are you the same or different from your partner? If you don’t share the same values talking will help draw out some of the tensions. If you are too similar it might be better to discuss what you can both do differently to make the most out of money.

Make it practical – put all emotions aside and make money about practicality rather than power. You are in a great position to use your voice to break down taboos and decide what money means to your family.

Work as a unit – make choices about how you use and manage money together- a family unit can’t have people moving in different directions.

Join up accounts? – a joint account is one option that doesn’t work for everyone, it can make household and family spending a joint decision rather than a point of contention. Money can move freely and it doesn’t have to be divided up so obviously. You can always put money aside in a separate account as well.

Money conversations can help you make the right decisions about who manages it, what purchases and investments are made and how to build a future for your family. What happens as a result might surprise you! One woman I spoke to felt that women needed to earn at least equal to their partners to have an equal say in the relationship!

Talking about money is the only way to destroy the power it holds over us. It can be uncomfortable, embarrassing and stressful for everyone involved but having it out in the open is better than letting resentments fester on both sides.

Be the brave and courageous lioness I know that you are and start the conversation. Let me know how you get on!

I am Jenny Garrett, Executive Coach, founder of Reflexion Associates, a leadership and coaching consultancy and author or Rocking Your Role – I help professional working women move from struggling and juggling to rocking their many roles in life. Find out more about me, my programmes, speaking engagements and training at rockingyourrole.com

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